In previous years, I would only post to here when I was feeling particularly depressed or unoccupied. As a relationship developed and classes got harder, both of those were resolved, so there wasn’t much reason to put anything on here outside of uploading the occasional files to /stuff/. I recently started updating the site somewhat, though I doubt this will last for long, as midterms are starting soon..

For a long time, things that I considered posting were either too boring or too personal. Lately, I’ve had a fair bit to talk about, but every time I start writing a post, I suddenly think “What’s this going to get you? Only introverted people do this sort of thing! You don’t want to become a hermit, do you?” and immediately close the window.

What’s weird is that I’m generally quite fine with who I am (geeky, but in moderation), but I often get a feeling that “if a given activity isn’t helping classes, friends, or relationships, then I shouldn’t even bother”, which tends to override whatever I was doing at the time. While this pattern has certainly helped with my work ethic, and all this exercising has gotten me looking pretty hot (even by my unreasonably high expectations for myself), it’s really getting old. I want to just have fun without worrying about this bullshit all the time.

For example, over the last couple days I’ve been shopping around for a new keyboard. Not for any reason in particular, just because. Then suddenly something comes up and I think “man, this is pretty pathetic. I need to be more normal.”

I think I really just need to just figure out what my priorities are. And what I’m going to do for those priorities. And fucking get over myself. But before then, I guess I have some more things I should write about.